June 1, 2009 was the day I made a conscious effort to change my bad habits. When I look back on the person I was then in
more than just pictures, there are some major changes:
- I can't remember my last fast food meal - You could say Fast Food was an major downfall of mine. I loved the convenience and it fit right into my secret eating tendencies. My kids still get fast food occasionally, and I find a healthier option for myself. The thought of putting those processed food items in my body doesn't have any appeal to me anymore.
- I enjoy exercising - I love the energy of my workouts. I feel different, sluggish, icky on days I don't workout. I strive to exercise 6 days a week and rest 1. On the rest day, I enjoy my rest and look forward to working out again. I try to mix up my workouts between elliptical machine, running, walking and strength training.
- I don't feel guilty about food - I'm learning to be picky about my treats and when I do have them, I don't feel guilty. If the treat isn't worth it, I won't eat it.
- I run - I'm the person who would have told you a few years ago that I HATED running. Now, I'm the person whose run 2 5K's and is training for 2 more. A serious runner friend of mine even tried to talk me into doing a Ragnar Relay with her. That's a little beyond me right now, but I did give it some thought.
- I blog - I love having a place to work through the thoughts in my head. I hope that my story helps others with their journeys. I'm surprised at times about how much information I share and how I let total strangers in on this journey. I feel supported by so many internet buddies and that's just vital to my motivation. I love to offer up support in return, it makes my day to cheer people on.
At the same time, there are some things about me that are the same:
- I don't weigh myself - I started weighing myself when I was losing weight to stay on track. When I was maintaining, it got obsessive and I'm learning to trust myself again. So, I've stopped weighing myself.
- I love to try new foods - Maybe foods now aren't as fatty and the portions are smaller, but give me some interesting veggies or some international cuisine and I'm a happy camper.
- My life isn't perfect - I might be thin, fit and confident but all the crazy relationships in my life are still the same. Since they're mostly crazy family relationships, it's not like they're going away. My husband and I are the normal ones (don't we all say that). I am learning to manage the drama a little better, it's just all still there.
- I love peanut butter and chocolate - Reese's are yummy, and peanut butter on most things is quite heavenly. I still love it all. I'm learning to love it in moderation without forbidding it to myself. Give me some peanut butter on a banana and I've got the perfect, pre-workout feast. Mmmm.
- I look in the mirror and don't like everything I see - I still see much of the fat girl. My giggly parts are still giggly. They're just smaller and giggly. Body image issues haven't gone away. I'm working on loving my body, but I also worry that loving it too much will make me complacent and I'll gain the weight back. I want to love my body but demand it to be healthy. Does that work?
Have you changed on your journey? I bet many things have stayed the same too.